We always think my man is the exception; he possibly can’t lie to me. He is good, he is sincere, he means it and he’ll marry me. I thought the same too, he possibly could not lie to me he wouldn’t. Strangely enough I still believe it today, believe he was telling the truth but just did not put as much effort to his word. That may be true; it’s no longer of great concern to me at this present moment. All I’m concerned about is reconnecting with my self, getting past the pain of a broken heart, the biggest disappointment.

Every girl dreams of the perfect man, spectacular wedding and wonderful home with beautiful children. I had seen the not so perfect sides of love however; there are single mothers because the perfect man didn’t stay long enough to catch just a glimpse of his offspring. I did not expect much in the love arena until I met him who swept me off my feet. Surely he had to be an exception. He could not possibly have been lying to me. My heart was quickly lost to love and soon my mind would follow. I could not picture a more perfect life without him.

To him went my heart, mind and life. Then he made his ex pregnant. There was of cause good explanation to all this, a moment of madness when libido got the better of him. She moved in with him, this too was nicely explained to a very understanding love stricken heart and mind. But with time even the love stricken expects action to follow words. Every woman has a pride and self-worth beyond which no compromise can be made. But how do you disentangle yourself when you have given your heart, mind and life.

A roller coaster ride, that no one can prepare you for, begins and takes you to heights you never imagined. Emotional ups and downs as one tries to rediscover that thing which we call me. Loneliness becomes a song until the day you choose to let go of the pain and embrace freedom, love and laughter again. It’s never easy to start anew from a relationship no matter how short. Rediscovery is exciting yet tiring, exhilarating yet exhausting. Exceptions are there but the ordinary far outweighs them.

LIFE

If life were a play
Write and direct i would
Never play the victim

If life were a song
Loudest and longest I would sing
The happy notes and verses

If life were a painting
Boldest and brightest I would paint
The smiles and laugh lines

If life were a dance
Longest and gracefully I would girate
To the beat in my heart

If life were a drum
Hardest and loudest I would play
The rhythm that says
I will do it over and over
Till i get it right

if i would be asked to choose to be anyone i would choose ME coz aint no other person who rocks my world like me!!! ha ha ha its ,my day let me pamper myself

LIFE

If life were a play
Write and direct i would
Never play the victim

If life were a song
Loudest and longest I would sing
The happy notes and verses

If life were a painting
Boldest and brightest I would paint
The smiles and laugh lines

If life were a dance
Longest and gracefully I would girate
To the beat in my heart

If life were a drum
Hardest and loudest I would play
The rhythm that says
I will do it over and over
Till i get it right

The last time I was writing about time how it flies past when you want it to stall and absolutely drags its feet when you want it to fly. Not much has really changed in my life, i mean i do not have the job of my dreams, I really do not wish to be employed. Someone called it being Just Over Broke. I am not driving my dream car, which happens to be a Toyota Yaris at the moment, who knows tommorrow i may be dreaming of driving a BMW. Anyway there are no tangible, physical changes in my life but lo and behold i am very happy, happier than one would expect me to be. I go to bed each night feeling very accomplished.. You may wonder why this is so, well I made a DECISION to be happy. The statement really holds true. Happyiness is a state of the mind more than anything you may or may not own. So anyway I made up my mind to be the happiest person around. Each morning I wake up and decide to have a good day no matter what happens. I have found that I do much more with a happy outlook rather than when I feel low down and out. Make the decision to be happy, a happy outlook changes your perception of things that happen to you obstacles become stepping stones because they are just there to prove what you already have on the inside of you. The ability to see life through and come out better not bitter.

Time is such an interesting phenomena, the good times fly past and when the days are not so good they drag along as if dreading a worser tommorow. Lately i have had those not so good days. Felt lost and without any direction. Totally lost my bearings. I still dont feel like am back to my old self! Feel like am waking up to wait for the wind to blow me whichever direction it feels i should go. That means today i went northwards tommorow if the wind blows south, south wards I shall go. Where will all this lead me? To a place called nowhere. No one lives there, nobody wants to be there only i shall live there if i do not quickly move out. Nowhere kills, it kills dreams, it kills people, kills destinies and should never be visited. So before I end up nowhere I am making up my mind tommorow i shall stand against the tide and strongly push in the direction I want my life to take, to a place high up there which i call somewhere!!!

Lest time should run out and i die nowhere!